…and your friend, Steve…
Do your insecurities ever show up uninvited?
It’s back-to-school season, so we’ve been doing all the back-to-school things at my house. We went to the store and picked out backpacks and lunchboxes. We met the teachers, laid out clothes to make tomorrow morning's routine a little smoother—we’ve done ALL the things.
The kids are excited, but with that slight hesitancy we all get when facing change—because, let’s be real, when has anything in our lives looked exactly as we predicted? There’s always a surprise, always an “oh shoot, I didn’t think about that.”
I can relate to their hesitancy. This has been a massive season of change for me, and in some ways, it looks and feels like I thought it would, but in infinitely more ways… it doesn’t. In fact, I have no idea what I’m doing. Like, none. Like, it’s actually really frightening how little I have figured out… and it’s brought out some things I thought I’d moved past a long time ago.
There’s a song called “Your Friend Steve” by the folk duo Garfunkel and Oates—if you’re someone who’s on social media a lot, it’s been trending. Here’s a popular example if you want to take a look.
The lyrics go like this:
I can't believe
That it's finally me and you, and you and me
Just us, and your friend Steve
Do-do-do-do-do-do, Steve
Do-do-do-do-do-do, leave
What's the deal with your friend Steve?
In a nutshell, it’s a song written by a woman in a romantic relationship with a man who brings his friend Steve along as a third wheel everywhere they go.
That's what I feel like right now, but Steve isn't an awkward third wheel on a date - it's my insecurities that keep showing up uninvited.
I sit down to write and hear the voice in my head that tells me I can’t—
do do do do do do STEVE
I try to be a good mom and wife—but all I can see are the mistakes I make—
do do do do do do STEVE
I try to practice self-care but feel selfish when I do—
do do do do do do STEVE
I drop the ball—
do do do do do do STEVE
Something isn’t perfect—
do do do do do do STEVE
I don’t have the answer—
do do do do do do STEVE
I can’t find the words to express my feelings—
do do do do do do STEVE
I’m overwhelmed by things that seem easy for everyone else—
do do do do do do STEVE
Steve is a real jerk—and he tells some big lies.
I’ve noticed over the years that significant changes in my life, even the good ones, come with a wave of insecurities—Steve’s crashing the party—and this is one of those seasons.
If I were a reader and not the writer of this blog, this is the point where I’d expect a big reveal, some inspiration, and a 3-step plan on how to karate-chop Steve right out of your life for good—but I think the fact that Steve is standing at my front doorstep right now gives us pretty clear picture that I am not the authority on Steve-eviction..... Steviction
I know I’m not alone in this. I know I’m not the only one who’s figured out how to break free just to find themselves back in the weeds of lies and insecurities.
I bet you have a Steve too.
So let’s sit together for a minute, take a breath, and remember this:
You are not alone—and I am not alone. Believing lies about ourselves, even if we believe them A LOT, does not make them true.
There is a list I read through often that I want to share with you from Neil Anderson’s book Victory Over Darkness.
Let’s just take a moment together to look at each of these truths
Who I Am in Christ:
I Am Accepted
John 1:12 – I am God’s child.
John 15:15 – I am Christ’s friend.
Romans 5:1 – I have been justified.
1 Corinthians 6:17 – I am united with the Lord, and I am one spirit with Him.
1 Corinthians 6:20 – I have been bought with a price. I belong to God.
1 Corinthians 12:27 – I am a member of Christ’s Body.
Ephesians 1:1 – I am a saint.
Ephesians 1:5 – I have been adopted as God’s child.
Ephesians 2:18 – I have direct access to God through the Holy Spirit.
Colossians 1:14 – I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.
Colossians 2:10 – I am complete in Christ.
I Am Secure
Romans 8:1-2 – I am free from condemnation.
Romans 8:28 – I am assured all things work together for good.
Romans 8:31-34 – I am free from any condemning charges against me.
Romans 8:35-39 – I cannot be separated from the love of God.
2 Corinthians 1:21-22 – I have been established, anointed, and sealed by God.
Philippians 1:6 – I am confident that the good work God has begun in me will be perfected.
Philippians 3:20 – I am a citizen of heaven.
Colossians 3:3 – I am hidden with Christ in God.
2 Timothy 1:7 – I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.
Hebrews 4:16 – I can find grace and mercy in time of need.
1 John 5:18 – I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.
I Am Significant
Matthew 5:13-14 – I am the salt and light of the earth.
John 15:1,5 – I am a branch of the true vine, a channel of His life.
John 15:16 – I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit.
Acts 1:8 – I am a personal witness of Christ.
1 Corinthians 3:16 – I am God’s temple.
2 Corinthians 5:17-21 – I am a minister of reconciliation for God.
2 Corinthians 6:1 – I am God’s workmanship.
Ephesians 3:12 – I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
Philippians 4:13 – I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
― Neil T. Anderson, Victory Over the Darkness: Realize the Power of Your Identity in Christ
Truth is the only thing that can refute the lies in our lives.
If you can relate to what I've been experiencing, my hope and prayer for myself and you is that we let these truths guide us away from the lies we so readily grab ahold of.
Let's give Steve the boot. He doesn't belong with you, sweet child of God.
Thanks for reading.
