Anxious and Grateful
Empathy and Anxiety: A Change of Heart
Ten years ago, if someone asked if I was anxious, I would have laughed and said NO.
At the time, it felt like conversations about anxiety were on the rise, and I arrogantly looked down my nose at it. I think many of us have been judgmental when it comes to mental health.
Looking back, I realize now how much I lacked empathy. Anxiety was everywhere, but I brushed it off as an excuse for weakness.
Empathy is such an important tool that is underutilized in our world.
There is a quote that has always stuck with me.
People are hard to hate up close. Move In.
-Brené Brown
I think, in the same way, people are hard to judge up close. We have to move in. This is a critical step if we want to learn to empathetic.
As time passed, to my great surprise, I came to see that I was, in fact, an anxious person. Fear defined so much of how I saw the world around me. It skewed my view of God and altered the way I lived and loved those around me.
A Tool for Each of Us
Anxiety takes so many forms. For many of us, anxiety results from difficult circumstances and is somewhat temporary. On the other side of the spectrum, there are those of us who experience chronic anxiety due to various mental health challenges and conditions.
I have no desire to offer an overly simplistic “solution” to such a complex emotion. Each of us must use any or all available tools in our tool bag to combat struggles like anxiety. So today, I want us to talk about one tool we should reach for when anxiety strikes.
One-Liners That Don’t Last
I’m always a little skeptical when I see “inspirational” one-liners on social media. All too often, they’re stand-alone and can’t be backed up with truth—for me, specifically, that means they can’t be backed up by scripture.
They can easily be the result of “our truth” and logic, and not God’s truth.
One particular one-liner seemed to keep showing up over the last month:
You can’t be anxious and grateful at the same time.
I scrolled past it numerous times before I started considering that there may be truth to this.
The Myth of Multitasking
In a psychology class in college, I heard this:
Multitasking is a myth.
In the words of Jeff Foxworthy:
Hold my beer and watch this.
I believed I multitasked all the time. In fact, by that point, I don’t think I had ever done an assignment without watching FRIENDS at the same time.
The more I dug into this topic, the more I began to believe that this was, in fact, true.
Think about it like a TV. You can only watch one thing at a time. In the same way, your brain can only watch one channel at a time.
Multitasking isn’t watching multiple channels at the same time; it’s actually flipping between channels rapidly.
This excludes automatic functions that live in the non-thinking parts of your brain. Breathing, balance, blinking, badminton (okay, not badminton, I just wanted another “B” word)—these types of things do not require focused attention; your body just does them.
This is why texting and driving is so dangerous. You can’t REALLY focus on reading, typing, and driving at the same time. You’re flipping channels back and forth.
While anxiety may fall in the non-thinking part of our brains for many of us, it doesn’t mean we can’t bring it into our focused attention.
So the question is, can we change the channel?
Changing the Channel
Let’s look at a verse from Paul’s letter to his friends in Philippi:
Philippians 4:6
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
Let’s focus on the word instead… This word is like a button on your remote.
How do we change the channel?
Pray
Tell God what we need
Thank Him
Let’s look at where we started:
It is impossible to be anxious and grateful at the same time.
Paul's words in Philippians remind us that switching from anxiety to peace requires a deliberate channel change.
The Benefits of Switching Channels
Let’s look at what Paul says the benefits are of changing the channel.
Philippians 4:7
Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
When we change the channel, we can experience:
Peace
Beyond our understanding
Guards our hearts
Guards our minds
While anxiety may make us believe it offers us protection—it can’t.
It’s too simple…
Anxiety can feel too big to be swayed by simple tools like gratitude. But remember, you can only focus on one thing at a time—only watch one channel at a time.
Anxiety comes naturally, reflexively, and automatically so often. In many instances, you turn on the TV, and it’s already tuned into the anxiety network.*
We have to at least try to change the channel if we want to relieve the weight of anxiety and experience peace.
How to Switch the Channel on Anxiety
If we want to change the channel, or even combat anxiety before it has a chance to take root, we need to follow Paul’s teaching.
Stop
The first step is awareness. When you feel your heart racing or your thoughts spiraling, pause. Acknowledge what’s happening: ‘I’m feeling anxious right now.’ Recognizing the feeling instead of pushing it away is powerful. It’s a way of taking back control from the automatic response of anxiety.
Pray
Once you recognize the anxiety, take it to God. This doesn’t have to be formal or complicated. Try saying something like, ‘God, I feel overwhelmed, and I need your peace right now.’ Use this moment to invite Him into your struggle, trusting that He’s with you. Even an intentional deep breath with your attention on Him can be a prayer—a way to pause, breathe in His presence, and exhale the worry.
Turn to God
Be honest with God, as you would with a trusted friend. If you’re anxious about a big decision, a relationship, or your future, tell Him. You could say, ‘God, I’m struggling with ___ (fill in the blank), and it’s really weighing on me. I need your guidance and wisdom.’ This kind of honest vulnerability not only brings comfort but also helps us focus on what’s really troubling us. If you’re skeptical - imagine the benefit of talking something out with a good friend - talk it out with God.
Be grateful
Anxiety blinds us to blessings, but gratitude opens our eyes. Start by naming just one thing you’re grateful for, even if it’s as simple as ‘I’m thankful for a new day’ or ‘I’m grateful for the people who support me.’ Expand from there. Think of the obstacles you’ve overcome, the love in your life, or the beauty in everyday moments—the list could truly go on for longer than a CVS receipt.
Does This Sound Overwhelming?
When tackling everything at once feels like too much, focus on gratitude. Write down three things that went well today, no matter how small. Revisit them when anxiety rises. This simple practice can shift your focus to the good things God has done and is doing in your life.
You can’t be anxious and grateful at the same time.
Wrapping Up
Often, the truths God shows us are not only for us but for those around us as well. If you know someone struggling with anxiety, share this approach with them—it might be the first step they need to switch to a better channel.
Next week, we’re going to continue talking about gratitude and fear, and I’m so excited to get into it with you.
See you next week!
*Because I’m easily distracted… I got lost in the thought, “What if the anxiety network was a real thing?!”… and it totally is… it’s called The News, or True Crime Documentaries, or Dance Moms…
