Uncomplicated: Forgiveness

Forgiveness: The Burden You Were Never Meant to Carry

Ever tried carrying around something you had absolutely no business holding? Like, say, a squirmy, angry, hairless cat? (Stay with me.) If you’ve ever held onto resentment, bitterness, or the deep hurt caused by someone else, then you know exactly what I’m talking about.

We grip these things as if holding on to them proves a point. As if carrying them around will somehow make the other person realize what they did. As if our suffering is a receipt we can cash in for justice. But let’s be honest—who really ends up suffering the most?

Spoiler alert: It’s us.

The Misconceptions That Keep Us Stuck

Forgiveness is one of those things that sounds beautiful in theory but is ridiculously hard to live out. And if we’re honest, a lot of that comes from misunderstanding what forgiveness actually is. So let’s clear up a few things:

❌ Forgiveness is not saying what they did was okay.
If it were okay, there wouldn’t be anything to forgive. Letting go doesn’t mean minimizing the hurt or pretending it didn’t happen.

❌ Forgiveness is not letting someone off the hook.
It’s letting yourself off the hook—from carrying around the weight of something you were never meant to hold.

❌ Forgiveness is not always reconciliation.
You can forgive someone without re-entering a relationship with them. Boundaries and forgiveness can (and should) coexist.

❌ Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting.
We don’t have to erase the past, but we do have to stop letting it control our present.

So What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself—a conscious decision to release the resentment that’s been weighing you down.

It’s setting down the burden of anger, disappointment, and betrayal and saying, I refuse to let this define me anymore.

It’s realizing that carrying around past hurts doesn’t punish the other person—it only exhausts you.

And if you’re thinking, Well, I don’t want to forgive. They don’t deserve it, I get it. But here’s the truth: Forgiveness isn’t about them. It’s about you.

What Happens When We Choose to Forgive?

When we stop gripping our hurt like a badge of honor, something wild happens: freedom.

✔️ We stop giving the past power over our present.
✔️ We regain emotional energy that was being drained by resentment.
✔️ We open the door to peace, healing, and even joy.

The Bible puts it this way:
"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." —Romans 12:18

Did you catch that? As far as it depends on you. Meaning, you can choose peace even if the other person never apologizes, never acknowledges the hurt, never changes.

The Greatest Example of Forgiveness

If anyone had the right to hold onto resentment, it was Jesus. Wrongfully accused. Beaten. Hung on a cross. And while people mocked Him, what did He say?

"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

If Jesus, in His deepest suffering, could choose forgiveness, then maybe—just maybe—it’s worth us considering, too.

Time to Lay Your Burdens Down

So here’s my challenge to you: What are you still holding onto? Who are you still gripping anger toward, refusing to forgive?

Maybe today is the day you choose to set it down.

Not because they deserve it. Not because you’re saying what they did was okay. But because you deserve to walk in freedom.

Let it go. Put down the ugly, hairless cat. Trust me, it will land on its feet. And so will you.

Let’s Talk About It

I’d love to hear from you—what’s been the hardest part of forgiveness for you? Drop a comment below or send me a DM. Let’s work through this together.

And if this resonated with you, share it with someone who needs it today. Because forgiveness? It’s something we all need to figure out, one layer at a time.

Want to dig deeper? This weeks podcast takes a deep dive into forgiveness!

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